Everything but…WOTT – iPath Scotland tour.
After a night of hype out at Bird’s consisting of a bottle of Bacardi and orange squash, we pack the car and head over to the Holiday Inn to meet up with Tez and the rest of the travelers in the Twodist van. They turn up while Bird’s emptying his bladder ready for the three hour plus drive to Edinburgh. Eddie jumps in with us and we’re off. The drive up carried with it some worrying drops of rain, along with some Mario Kart-esque banana throwing, blog caning, and Eddie’s euphoric piss at the services. We turn off for the A8, away from the rain, and on into Edinburgh.
We arrive at Edinburgh park around two and meet up with Adam Moss who got flown in that morning. Within an hour he’s using his extra luggage allowance opening his bag of tricks onto the flat bar, as steezy as you like, with Eddie hammering everything in his path. Meanwhile Lintel’s having to watch as he waters his ankle after a tweek sat in the ankle-above-heart position. Though this doesn’t last, as within an hour he’s big spinning into noseblunts, with Rob clamming a Chalmers style gap from hip to hip at rocket speed.
After the park we meet up with a local photographer and go take some photos for Lintel’s upcoming Sidewalk interview. While he pops up, over, and out of every obstacle we are taken to, Eddie – who has been slowly drinking through the day – is keeping everyone entertained with his singing and general antics around the town. By the time all the photos are done for the day we’re all pretty hungry, so we head over to Illegal Jacks for a burrito. On the way there, after going to a cash machine, two homeless men are sat on the floor, already stopping Moss and Lintel in front of me.
“Iye, I used to skate with Tony Alva!”
One of them’s sat talking about how he used to skate pools with Tony Alva in Cali, skating people’s pools and chilling smoking weed. It’s hard to tell whether he’s telling the truth, or if he just had Dog Town and Z-Boys on DVD… I thought about this until we got to the eatery and I had to decide what to eat. Choosing a chili beef burrito, I sit with Harry and Eddie, who decides that a burrito is like a deep bowl, this became a cause for hysteria on the way back up to Ali’s, our bed for the night, with everyone in laughing fits the whole drive back. At Ali’s we set up camp in his garden and had a few Tennants, along with Bacardi and Iron Bru – we were in Scotland after all.
In the early hours of the morning I’m woken up by screeches, in the freezing cold, a little bewildered to why I’m in a tent. I soon remember where I am, that Eddies air bed has a hole in it and that the escaping air sounds just like the dying muskrat in Cannibal Holocaust. A few pumps later and we have another hour in bed before Ali’s kettle gets a good working. After brews and bacon rolls, thanks to Ali’s endless hospitality, we head over for our second day at Edinburgh park.
At the park we find LIVing legends Stu Graham and Colin Kennedy are already there bright and early, and everyone gets involved on the skate. Looking over the big bowl, Scotty and Stu are pointing at coping and commenting on it. Stu Graham and Andy Scott talk bowls – now that would be a good read. Rob kicks off the footage flying higher than everyone else in his usual fasion, with Eddie circling the park cruising more lines than Freddy Krueger’s jumper collection. Speaking of horror stories, while sorting out some drama emails, I hear a bomb go off. Looking for a smoke cloud, I notice Stu laying flat on his back in the middle of the deepest bowl, surrounded by people with their hand over their mouths, looking at each other and then back down the pit of concrete. “He slipped out of a frontside grind and landed back on his board” Moss informs. The worst type of slam.
The next stop is street skating in town, where I leave for the night to stay at a friends. But that’s another story. A taxi journey back in the morning and I’m being told about the footage from the night before when they met up with newest iPath rider, Mark Tea Bag Murry. “He popped into it!”. We then go pick up the infamous Tea Bag, and head over the Dumbarton for the first leg of WOTT.
After the Dundee leg we head up to Aberdeen to our bed for the night. On the way Eddie grabs a bottle of the notorious Buckfast, which we finish off between Ed, Andy and myself, along with plenty of tinnies. With everyone making the journey up to Aberdeen there’s a convoy of cars and vans all full of sweaty skaters. Driving past Manheads holding up a piece of paper with “iPath is Mosher” on it. “I need a pen and paper! You got a pen and paper?”. This then became the game for the trip up. By the time we get to the travel lodge we’re ready to get in, though only enough room for 6 had been paid for, with the plan to sneak the rest in. Tez heads over to the desk while everyone waits outside. Turns out most people doing the trip up were staying here, but not us, the rooms – that had been booked two months ago – had been sold on. With our Buckie induced car, and Tez’s Morgan spiced van, supplied by Rob, everyone was getting pretty restless. About an hour later Tez returns, not the happiest, and we’re sent to another hotel.
We arrive at The Speed Bird Inn, where Rob’s keeping up the moral with his Scottish accent impression, and seeing how fast he can say the name of the hotel “Spdbrd’n”. In the time while Tez and Parrot are talking in the hotel, trying to get us a room, something sparks off Rob and Eddie into a friendly brawl in the car park, to the shocked faces of Harry and Adam. Getting a little carried away, they stop, and eventually we all head in, after Eddie insists we have to listen to Wu-Tang one last time in the car. WU WU WU.
I was sharing a room with Rob and Eddie. In the morning we went over to Tez, Bird and Scotty’s room, where they were watching some wrestling, which reminded me a lot of our room the night before, with the carry on of Rob Smith vs. Eddie Belvedere being the entertainment for the night. Back to the WWE, Rob decides “I’d rather be a roller blader than a wrestler!” which instantly wakes Andy, “a roller blader!?” in shock, as if nothing could be worse – or he just likes wrestling… After this we head straight to Aberdeen park, and to the second leg of WOTT.
WOTT ends, and after 4 days of skating, everyone’s feeling pretty haggard, with offers of home Eddie jumps in a lift swapping for Ben Rowels, and we drive back to the Travel Lodge, to find they’ve sold one of our rooms, again. After some smooth talking from Tez we’re in, and we get settled in our rooms. Everyone’s hyped to get out for a meal, but looking at my funds, I’m not too sure, so Bird, Scotty and me stay back and head for a shop. Buying some drink in a local Co-op, we get asked on the way in off this little girl if we have any fags. No. Then while we’re getting served at the till, the door swings open and this same little girl starts hauling racial abuse at the cashiers. Stood in shock she closes the door, only to repeat it three times before running away. Back in the car we head over to a Chinese that Scotty spotted on the way. Inside, waiting for our food, I was dreading seeing this little girl’s head pop in again with a slight change of phrase… But she didn’t. And we head back to the Lodge.
Back at the room we start our food when Tez comes in to join, telling us about Tea Bag’s disappearance. “One second he was stood there, the next he was running down the street!”. Eaten and drank, we drift off for a second, until the door starts knocking, lights on, and we’re awake. Robs back, holding an empty fish bowl, shouting “George!”. We hear about the antics of the night in Rob’s genius Scottish accent when Tea Bag turns up, “are we smoking in here?” and disappears into the bathroom. About half an hour later, wondering what he’s up to, he comes out with a book, “Iye, I’ve just been doing some reading”. He’s a proper character. We all drift off, and in the morning set off back over to Edinburgh park, where I get to witness Tea Bag shred the tons of concrete like he was buttering bread. A couple of hours in and we say goodbye to Tea Bag and set off back down to home. With a stop at a service station, Tez’s van gets filled, and Me and B head back to Morecambe, and home.
words Jamie John Jenkinson
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