The Best F*cking Songs in the World

Categorised as FEATURES., MUSIC.

TBFSiTW is a weekly feature that embraces the speed at which we consume, fall in love with and then tire of music. The fact is, the game has changed and digital media has made music a far more intense and immediate experience. Whilst this has its pros and cons nothing is going to change any time soon so I’m refraining from comment.

This is a dedication to everything that I ever listened to and thought, “WOW… this is the best fucking song I have ever heard!”

Hooray for Earth – True Loves

I’ve been looking for the words to describe this one in a serious way. But, what can i say aside from “this IS ACTUALLY the best song ever”? Just listen to it, doesn’t it make you want to fall in love, mourn, lose control, be surrounded by friends and overcome some terrifying obstacle all at the same time? That’s the genius of truly amazing music, it can capture something unidentifiable and then montage the fuck out of your life in three and a half minutes.

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Coma Cat  – Tensnake (RTK remix)

TECHNO. Aka the best fucking music ever. Techno’s genius is that it operates on a purely subconscious level, there is no literal interpretation of what the song is saying unless it has a bikini clad girl spouting a very basic explanation over the top of it. The versatility of dance music is what makes the whole of Europe (who have no comprehension of  99.9% of all music on a linguistic level) love the fuck out of it. As a rule, anything that has steel drums is likely to be A-MA-ZING just because that’s what summer sounds like isn’t it? And you know what summer means? Everybody is practically naked and as high as a kite on vitamin D. Furthermore, any song, ESPECIALLY dance music, that has the balls to drop a 2-3 second silence is basically saying this drop is SO SO SO incredible that it requires you to just take a few seconds in order to prepare for what is about to happen.

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Factory Floor – R E A L L O V E (Optimo Espacio remix)

Factory Floor – R E A L L O V E Optimo (Espacio) remix by theQuietus

There is no other language to describe the greatest combination of things in the world other than the language of hyperbole. Factory Floor proved the point that techno isn’t just something that happens behind a little apple logo but can be a visceral, breathing beast of a machine. Optimo then took that beast and unleashed it upon the world with demented ferocity. I am serious that this is the best song ever; it’s loud even if you turn the volume down (hold on, why are you turning the volume down?). Whatever, the volume is down but your ears are still getting quite a fisting, not the whole hog but at least a few fingers. Turn it way up, all the way to the top and do it the way the pornstars do it…

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Words:

Marcus Harris

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