Zeitgeist 3 – Move…somewhere else.

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I’ve been interested in conspiracy theories for…well, since I started smoking weed. However when the smoking died down, the conspiracies seemed to stick. I mean they’re entertaining, but in more of a ‘I quite like watching Friends every now and then,’ entertaining.

I guess my interest stems from the problems I have with most films nowadays, which is the fact that they try to be too serious when really they would be better produced and marketed as a bit of a joke. I watched True Lies last night, and it’s amazing because it’s all a bit tongue in cheek rather than taking itself too seriously. Nowadays films all need a (supposedly) deep and meaningful storyline, jacked up with epic slow motion shots that tend to be of people just looking at things. In the future give me some explanations; how is he now a blue guy? why are you all in the same dream? how did you learn to infiltrate an entire organisation as a bodyguard? This is where conspiracy theories are great – ok, the stories are a bit out there, but every time you ask ‘why?’ They tell you. So why is Barack Obama really a reincarnation of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh? Oh because him and his whole family look exactly like the statues of his family – well, almost. And yes it’s super far fetched, but I don’t want the truth truth, I just want something to keep my attention better than a couple of gun shots and wet T-shirts.

So, the latest big conspiracy release; Zeitgeist 3-Moving Forward, is premiered on Youtube, at almost three hours, and thousands of views in the first few hours. I get set up and stuck in. The first ten minutes…nothing happens. It looks like a bad Media Studies film by a bullied fifteen year old, but not in the classic cheesy conspiracy film, more in the ‘I’m getting out all my emotions through my film because emotions are so difficult to me.’ Eventually it gets past the My Chemical Romance tribute video and into some interviews, and more interviews, and then some more GCSE work, and back into interviews. This is meant to be the good part – theorists talking about the crucial issue with the world, how everything is going to change, and that all everyone has to do is get behind them, watch the film and share it, make it change the world for the better by telling everyone to be happy… Be happy!?!? The film is basically three hours of people proving how great it is to be happy. To be fair I skipped a few chunks, but every jump was to the same – “happiness cures everything”. What is this? The fucking Care Bears association?

So now they want to restart the world. Have they forgotten that America isn’t the world? And anyway, it’s predicted that by 2020 China’ll be twice as powerful as America, and that America will be equal to India. Its the western culture of banking that’s having such a devastating effect, and by the looks of the western economic status, it’s dying out fast. The world is going to change, but not by turning it into a massive rainbow. Do they really think that the types of Al-Qa’ida, Lashkar-e-Taiba, Al-Shabaad, and the American government are just going to say, ‘fine, lets all be friends’? It’s a Joke. If you hate it that much, leave. Go live on an island somewhere eating flies, you’ve all see Ray Mears. The only thing keeping most people here are the things that are meant to be ruining everything.

Now don’t get me wrong, the banking system is pretty fucked up, but I got that the first time round, and the second, and now the third. The film’s being posted everywhere as a MUST SEE, but I’m not sure what I’m looking at. And why is it so long? If they want everyone to see it, make it a half hour, it’s not like it’s difficult to understand. Happiness makes things better, banks make us not happy, Banks make things worse. The end.

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Here’s the film in it’s entirety.

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