Porno gone wrong.

Categorised as GENERAL.

This isn’t a post about funny porn bloopers – if you’re looking for something like that go here – it’s full of HILArious clips of girls with daddy issues getting kicked in the head while trying to suck off a horse (by the horse, not by an over-eager director). THIS is a post about when people who do porn make really weird life choices. God, that sounded like a shitty advert for some b-rate action film.

I’m not sure what it is about the porn industry that attracts/produces people who go on to do fucked up stuff – maybe it’s the fact that getting paid to have sex on camera leaves lots of time to kill, and people with loads of time on their hands need something fun to do with it. It’s just a shame that the fun is usually illegal and/or detrimental to society. Mind you it’s pretty hard to find information about ex-pornstars on the internet (I know right?) so there a couple in here who actually did constructive stuff, or didn’t even start off in porn at all. In fact I don’t really know where I went with this article.

John Holmes.

This is the most famous one I would guess – mostly because they made that movie about the whole deal with Val Kilmer and Phoebe from Friends playing the main parts – oh and Kate Bosworth before she got all trampy. Before the Wonderland incident Holmesy was just known for having a HUGE dick – something like 13 inches, and for portraying Johhny Wadd (what a name) the crime fighting fuck-star. Sadly he got sucked in to the big bad underbelly of DRUGS and got caught up in all the bullshit that surrounds them, then allegedly beat someone to death (or maybe he didn’t, maybe he was ‘just there’).

Cicciolina.

Arnold Schwarzenegger started his career as a fluffer in porno before going on to do all the other shit you know about and finally becoming da governor. Ilona Staller (i.e Cicciolina) started her career as a cum guzzling bodacious babe and is following in Arnie’s footsteps by going in to Italian politics. We all know showing your tits to Berlusconi is a definite way in, and seeing as Staller’s were the first boobs on Italian TV she’s obviously been playing the game from the start.

Dustin Diamond.

Hey look it’s Screech from Saved by the bell all growed up! Remember how awkward and geeky he was, but he was totally lovable because he was so cute. Hold on, why’s Screech naked? Wait…why’s Screech putting his finger in that girl’s ass? Oh no…why’s he holding it under her nose? This is kind of a reverse situation – Dustin Diamond started out squeaky clean; Samuel “Screech Powers” was a chess loving school geek (who for some reason was friends with the all the hot people) who’s only hope in life was to hook-up with Lisa Turtle. Now look at him, Zack Morris and Slater would not be happy, actually Slater might be. You will be missed Screech, R.I.P sweet prince.


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