You could read this in two ways: either it’s a barbie for pre-pubescent potential cancer survivors, or it’s a thinly veiled message from a parent demonstrating that they find their child utterly dull.

This doesn’t need a caption.

If you’d have given me a ‘Feddy’ doll at age 4 or up (like the packet suggests) I would have totally freaked out. My windows 95 computer came with a CD that had 20 second clips of stuff like Eurythmics videos and golf tournaments – I have no idea why – but it also included the pinnacle Nightmare on Elm Street scene, which genuinely made me cry for hours.

“Spaderman, Spaderman, does whatever a spader can.” Which is dig holes, and then fill them up again with earth – the hours I could wile away with this toy, fascinating.

I don’t know why Robertcop isn’t more of a common nickname for Roberts around the globe, it’s like a way better version of the Shermanator from American Pie.

This is the one toy here that I would actually be psyched about as a kid, all I ever did with my Thomas toys was smash them about anyway.

This entry was tagged as benign girl, nightmare on elm street, rip off toys, spaderman, specialman.