Take me to your dealer.
These shirts are EVERYWHERE in Kerrang endorsed hot-spots like Camden market, but you never see people actually wearing them, which is a shame. They’re way better than ‘funny beer t-shirts,’ i fact I saw someone wearing a ‘designated drinker’ shirt the other day, which just capped the deal for me. Beer shirts are lame, weed shirts are cool. Here are some.
The classic. What a delicious, timeless pun. “Uh huh huh huh…imagine if like, when aliens came to earth they didn’t like want to neuter us or anything, they just wanted to spark a fattie and chill with us.’ I was writing that to take the piss out of stoner conversations, but I’m a little bit high and the small possibility of that actually happening just took me to a place in my mind with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, inside an underground bunker with loads of green and red LEDs everywhere, and a green guy with huge black eyes rolling a zoot.
These guys are completely the best weed themed death metal band ever. They’re not all slick about it like Cypress Hill, and they don’t go on the cover of High Times but completely ignore green in their lyrics, like the guy from Maroon 5 – they’re straight up stoner metal-heads, they were that band in ‘In the Loop,’ and they have a song called ‘Mummified in bong water.’ Sick.
“I don’t need to go to university, I’m living the lessons of life at Kush college.” No you’re not, you’re sitting on a sofa in need of a piss and you can’t be fucked to get up.
“OBAAAAAMMMMAAA.” Fine, maybe he’s not living up to the presidential hype so much – but no-one can deny how awesome he is. He can swat a fly with the speed of a cheetah, call Kanye West a jackass with the grace of the Dalai Lama (and get away with it without Kanye throwing a hissy fit) and dance to Snoop Dogg with the agility of a pensioner. He’s like a wizened, old cat.
Myth: If you have a ten bag in your pocket hot girls with huge boobs will flock to you, like in that Lynx advert.
Truth: You’ll have a spliff at a party, try and approach a hot girl, then mumble your words and bore her. That’s the shit that Frank should really be telling you.